My daughter sleeping
Here is my baby girl…the LOVE of my life…well one of them anyway…Leda. She is two and a half years old and she is a doll. EVERYONE who meets her falls in love at first sight. She likes many things, too many to list here so I thought that I would let her tell you about her in “her own words” so I called in Caesar Millian the “Dog Whisperer” to interview her….really I did…lol.
Q. So, how is it to be Lindsey Lovehand’s daughter?
A. Well, to be honest it’s kind of hard. I mean she’s good to me and all, don’t get me wrong but SHIT she is gone half the time. I don’t know where she goes or what she does but she leaves all the time and then comes home after a few hours and says she was “working” but she has this stupified look of pleasure on her face…if I didn’t know any better I’d say Mommy had gotten laid. But she’s cool, she buys us matching outfits and I even have this special pocketbook she carries me around in like I’m the Sultan of Brunei. So I would have to say that overall I have it pretty good. I DO NOT like when she makes me bathe though. But man do I eat well!
Q. Does being Lindsey Lovehand’s dog/daughter place un-realistic expectations on you when it comes to dating other dogs in the neighborhood?
A. Well to be perfectly honest I am a “one dog woman” and I have been in a committed relationship for almost two years with my boyfriend, his name is Bob but right now he has a job with a large pet store chain so he can’t comfortably show his face. Maybe down the road, who knows. So to answer your question I am out of the doggie-dating scene. My therapist says that I am better in a monogamous relationship. But Bob and I get it on at least seven to eight times a day. I believe Mommy put a video up on Youtube of us screwing…you couldn’t see Bob’s face though.
Q. What is your favorite type of food?
A. Doggie food or human food?
Q. Either
A. Well I like my puppycorn treats, I get three every morning when I come back in from going to potty. But I realy LOVE Mommy’s cooking…she makes an Oso bucco that will knock your socks off!
Q. What’s your favorite position in sex with Bob?
A. Well you are probably expecting me to say doggy but it’s ACTUALLY reverse cowgirl.
Q. Do you watch Lindsey have sex ever?
A. Dude, if I was to try to look away every time she was getting laid, sucking some guy’s cock or jilling herself off I might as well move out and get my own pad ! Of course I’ve seen her getting laid…are you high? Let me tell you, I have seen Mommy do some crazy shit too !
Q. Would you consider a career in doggie porn if there was an industry?
A. Well I do like to fuck…yeah probably…if Mommy would drive me to the shoots.
Q. So tell us, what is this “obsession” we hear about with playing ball?
A. No comment…next question. Look, my agent told me before I even came here I didn’t have to talk about that. Now if you want to renig on our agreement now I will just take this microphone off my tail and leave. So what’s it going to be? I already told your muthaf @*king producer I wasn’t talking about that s **t…now what the f **k is going on here?
*** ORDER WAS RESTORED AND THE INTERVIEW RESUMED SHORTLY THEREAFTER ***
Q. Well do you have anything else to say to your fans?
A. Whatever dude….you’re a co ** sucker, I told you abide by my terms. I could have been on TMZ instead of being here with your dumb ass you know. A*# hole!
Me and my "significant other" Bob